I’ve found myself in many an argument over whether or not soda or water qualify as fine beverages (I say yes), but the argument is taken to a whole new level when you consider that UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Lyoto Machida slurps down for breakfast…HIS OWN URINE.
According to Machida in Brazilian fight magazine TATAME:
“My father does that for a long time and bring it to us. People think it’s a joke (laughs). I never said it in the United States because I don’t know how the fans will react (laughs). I drink my urine every morning like a natural medicine.”
Yes! At 15-0-0 and still UFC Light Heavyweight Champion of the world, Machida clearly knows what he is doing. As your attorney I suggest you try this at home and see what comes of it. I predict gag reflex and funky breath…though becoming one of the top fighters in the world has also been reported…
The Cardinals made it to the Super Bowl. A commercial airliner made a better [crash] landing on the Hudson River than they do under normal conditions on land. The largest underwater press conference of all time occurred with 61 journalists. Wait… What?
2009 has just begun and it’s already off to a crazy start with a failing economy, Michael Vick still in jail, and an executive branch for our government that 10 years ago nobody would have fathomed. With craziness all around me, I was feeling a little ballsy last night and I puffed out my bird chest and marched right into Walmart and grabbed a 24 ounce can of Chelada. What is Chelada you ask? It’s Bud Light mixed with Clamato, which is tomato juice and reconstituted clam broth. Wait…What? Continue Reading »
Welcome to another addition of Thunderdome! (Cheers and creepy music)
Listen all! This is the truth of it. Milking leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we’ve learned, by the dust of them all. Now, when beverages get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two beverages enter; one beverage leaves.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… Drinkin’ time’s here. Continue Reading »
I vividly remember the first time I tried Gorgonzola cheese. I was sitting outside a little café in Milan, Italy, after the first whiff of what smelled like putrefying garbage, and taking one more look around to make sure it wasn’t a joke I placed the cheese laden baguette in my mouth. After the retching subsided and I was able to rinse out my mouth with ice tea I sat wondering how anyone could possibly enjoy such food. Well many years later I have acquired a taste for the cheese, though I still squirm sometimes, along with many other foods that I would have never eaten before. Continue Reading »
We have not one, but two epic stories of criminal bravery for you to wrap up the unintended “criminal week” here on the Mutineer Magazine Blog. What’s more is that these stories both occurred this week, which I feel is a testament to the human spirit, in that these burglars didn’t let the crumbling economy hold them back or distract them. These men are professionals, or at least the closest thing to it, because according to reports all of these criminals remain at large. This probably won’t be the case for long, so here is my contribution to their 15 minutes of fame: Continue Reading »
This stuff is supposedly quite the aphrodisiac, but to be honest, it scares the hell out of me. As if having a cobra in your whiskey isn’t enough, this particular bottle also has a grass snake in it, which is actually in the cobra’s mouth.
The only real use I can see for this is for proactive parents wanting to deter curious teenagers from rummaging around the liquor cabinet. I mean, kids are typically nervous enough when they are rummaging through cupboards like a liquor bandit, can you imagine if they grab a bottle thinking they hit the jackpot, only to find a friggin’ king cobra with a grass snake in its mouth IN the bottle…problem solved. Continue Reading »
Number 5 – ASPARTAME
Okay, so aspartame isn’t really gross tasting or smelling. In fact, it’s pretty sweet… Until you have BRAIN TUMORS growing out of your eyes from its ill effects. Aspartame has long been a favorite substitute for more natural sweeteners like, well… sugar since its discovery by James M. Schlattler in 1965. Originally an anti-ulcer drug candidate, Aspartame’s sweet taste was actually an accident. Nowadays, consumers ingest a lot of the drug on a daily basis. Huge culprits are Sugar-Free Red Bull and Diet Coke. Continue Reading »
