-
07/17/08
Worst ****ing Lie of all Marketing
It’s bad enough that when I walk into a 7-11 at midday looking for a pick-me-up that I have to sift through rows and rows of random energy drinks hoping to find one that doesn’t taste like an old, dead possum foot. The companies that create those little fizz bombs are natural born liars. They [...]
-
07/08/08
4 Shameful and otherwise Appalling Days to Drink
Everyone knows that feeling. You wake up around three hours after your alarm has given up trying to wrestle you out of bed. Your hair’s a mess and your face is caked with make up from the night before. This is truly alarming as you don’t usually, or ever, wear make up to nightclubs. Having [...]
-
07/03/08
Keep Drinking and You’ll Look Like This
The number one killer of Americans today is heart disease from obesity. So, when a mutineer talks about being fat it’s not a laughing matter… Okay, maybe the “truffle shuffle” is a laughing matter, but Jeff Cohen’s childhood obesity is merely a rare exception. Suffice it to say that us Californians undoubtedly place a heavy [...]
-
06/28/08
Cap’n Crunch + Milk Shake = Delicious Diabetes
At Mutineer Magazine, we’re all about the ridiculous pairings (unless it’s effing Clamato). Let’s quickly review before we dive into today’s subject. Some of the best awful pairings of all time include, but are not limited to, the following. Bacon and Duct Tape Woody Allen and Women Techno and Music Shaquille O’Neal and Kung Fu [...]
-
06/23/08
The 5 Grossest Things You Can Find in a Cocktail
Number 5 – ASPARTAME Okay, so aspartame isn’t really gross tasting or smelling. In fact, it’s pretty sweet… Until you have BRAIN TUMORS growing out of your eyes from its ill effects. Aspartame has long been a favorite substitute for more natural sweeteners like, well… sugar since its discovery by James M. Schlattler in 1965. [...]
-
05/29/08
Sex and the City Cosmopolitan
I was chatting with some friends down in Pacific Beach yesterday, when it occurred to me that I had it all wrong. I thought Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was going to be this summer’s blockbuster, runaway hit. No. Hell no. Everyone, well more specifically, every girl in the country it [...]
-
05/28/08
Root Beer with a Twist
I created this mixture out of boredom and, well… we didn’t really have anything else in the office in the order of cocktail ingredients. We only had Skyy Vanilla Vodka and a party keg of Virgil’s Root Beer. While Wine Mutineer, Alan Kropf, watched in horror, I lifted the experiment to my lips. To my [...]
-
05/24/08
Romulan Ale + Space Travel = Mutiny
By tomorrow we should all be celebrating the success of NASA’s Phoenix Lander, due to set down near Mars’ North Pole in the late afternoon. Ramp up is set for 4:30pm and the automated landing process is expected to last about an hour. This marks one more hurdle leaped by NASA, but more importantly lines [...]
