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Mutineer Magazine’s Ten Tips for 2012 Tales of the Cocktail Rookies


Tales of the Cocktail

Mutineer Editor-in-Chief and Tales of the Cocktail veteran Alan Kropf has learned a lot at the event over the last few years. Below are a few of his suggestions. Some might not make sense now, but they will.

1. Only pack half as many t-shirts as you think you’ll need. You will acquire more.

2. Make sure your hotel room comes stocked with a bathrobe.

3. Gain access to the swag room. Do what you must, but a glorious bounty awaits those who earn the right to enter.

4. Do not ride the mechanical bull. Regardless of whatever anyone tells you, it can only end badly for you.

5. Avoid any alcoholic beverages over 16 ounces. Again, it can only end badly for you.

6. Do not pet the horses that police officers ride. They will not be into it.

7. Drink NOLA Beer. It’s delicious, and cocktail monogamy of such an intense nature has been linked to severe morale loss.

8. Always have a respectable and relatively full drink in your hand when entering an elevator.

9. If a strange and authoritative looking person walks up to you on the street and gives you a “ticket” for “not partying hard enough,” do not be alarmed. These people only want to sell you a hat.

10. Do not wander away alone from Bourbon Street on foot at 4AM in search of “the real N’awlins.”

See you all next week.


  1. Frederic | Saturday, July 21, 2012

    I disagree about the t-shirt part. Shirts gets sweaty and salt crusted rather quick if you walk around a bit in the heat, so pack extra changes of clothes. The shirts you do acquire at Tales are best used to wrap bottles, glassware, and other fragiles though.

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