Other Beverage • Wine
Just when you thought Sanrio had exhausted the world market by putting its Hello Kitty label on anything and everything possible, the Japanese cartoon character has finagled its way into the realm of fine beverage. And in true Hello Kitty fashion, the company has put its face on a simple and basic commodity (water), and turned it into a cash cow.
Hello Kitty first entered the “water industry” with Hello Kitty Bottled Water and Hello Kitty Mineral Water. Then came the Hello Kitty Water Dispenser, the oh-so-creepy Hello Kitty Body Shaped Mineral Water, and the Hello Kitty Skin Water — a “mineral beauty water” meant to be sprayed on the face, body or hair for rehydration. But, that apparently was not enough market share in the water biz.
Mere bourgeoisie water was not enough for this “thirsty” company. The luxury bottled water market, if such a thing exists, was still left “untapped”– no pun intended (or maybe it was). And so, the $100 bottle of Hello Kitty Luxury Water was born. Yes kids, you heard me. There is a bottle of water on the market that costs one hundred dollars. But have no fear, it is not the actual water that costs that much, but the bottle in which the water is being held.
To commemorate the 35th anniversary of the cartoon character’s creation (who knew she was that old?), the Japanese jewelry water company (I swear I am not making this up, such a thing actually exists) called Fillico has come out with a line of Hello Kitty crystal-encrusted water bottles. The bottles come in five colors, each with a different theme. Red for friendship, pink for cute, yellow for heartful, green for wish, and lavender for sweet. And for a mere extra $25, fans can get their name engraved on the bottle. They are supposed to be released this month.
So now you must ask yourself, what is more adorable? $100 bottles of Hello Kitty jewelry water or cute little bottles of Hello Kitty Sparkling Wine? Oh, I’m sorry, did you miss the Hello Kitty vino memo? Well frankly, I am out of snarkiness. So I will let Stephen Colbert convey my exact sentiments about such a “novel” marketing gimmick for me.
“Remember kids, this awesome new product is not for you. Okay, so please ignore the pretty pink color, and the shinny golden heart on the bottle, and the fact that it is small enough to fit in your lunch box.” – Stephen Colbert.
Yes. Wine in adult lunch boxes? FTW! Makes me wish I had a desk job again.