The folks over at Time Magazine have made a statement with their list of “Top 10 Bad Beverage Ideas”, inspired by doubt in Coca-Cola’s new “Vio” carbonated milk drink. The list is below, how did they do?
10. Orbitz – Are you kidding? That stuff was insane? Next to Crystal Pepsi, the mysterious beverage from “Planet Orbitz” represents one of the great fine beverage highlights of my childhood.
9. Cocaine – It has 350% more caffeine than Red Bull and a throat-numbing ingredient to simulate the real thing. Fine beverage knows no bounds.
8. Maxwell Ready-to-Drink Coffee – Everything you love about coffee, and ready to drink when you are. Seems like a win/win to me. I wish more stuff came ready to drink. So it is, I guess I’ll just go make some Red Bull.
7. OK Soda – “The cans were illustrated with grim-looking comic figures…”. Dark comedy cola for the win!
6. New Coke – This happened in 1985. Things I care about from 1985 include Back to the Future, Rambo: First Blood Part 2, and Rocky 4. Beverage fails from 1985 mean nothing to me.
5. Tru Blood – Ya, this is pretty dumb.
4. Life Savers Soda – I want one. Now. Editorial Fail.
3. Thanksgiving Dinner Soda – Editorial FAIL x 2. This is everything you love about Thanksgiving packaged into a delicious fine beverage. Win city here.
2. Coors Rocky Mountain Sparkling Water – A new name for the Banquet Beer?
1. Vio – Milk + Fruit + Sugar + Bubbles.