Paris Hilton Sells Devassa Beer With Her Sexy Moves. Brazil Not Happy.

Is this Devassa Bem Loura beer ad controversial in your opinion? Through my nubile eyes, this is obviously what happens when an entire city takes ecstasy all at the same time. It starts with voyeuristic visions of a beautiful woman dancing in a high rise, and is followed by the slow crescendo of a glitzy big band ensemble that seems to be coming from nowhere and everywhere at once. On any other day these would be random freaks in the crowd, but today the freaks have stormed the gates in a four to eight hour revolution fueled by designer street drugs and the unquenchable desire to sing songs and snap candidly fierce photos of the movie star to sell to TMZ Brazil. I’m not judging, just observing, and I’m not the only forward-thinking thinker to have concerns about this video.

According to AdAge: Brazil’s self-regulatory body, Conar, is investigating an ad campaign starring Paris Hilton for Devassa Bem Loura beer for being too sexually provocative, even by the racy standards of Brazilian beer ads.

Conar’s code governing beer advertising specifies that ‘appeals to sensuality won’t constitute the principal content of the message’ and adds that ‘advertising models won’t be treated as sex objects.’

Those silly Brazilians, fearful of the hard-rolling yet harmless hippies filling the air with sound and innocent, impure thoughts.

Consider “Pro-Sex-FTW-To-The-Max” Exhibit B, commonly known as “The Fundamental Marketing Formula to Sell Billions of Anything,” and this particular example comes to us from the fine people at Miller Lite.

See? Do you really think this was scripted? By writers? Nope. It was, “Ok ladies. We only have one take to get this right. Just…do whatever you want, try and work the fountain in, and lose the clothes as quickly as possible. Ya, let’s do that. Let’s just get those clothes out of the way quick so people focus on the beer and not the clothes. We’re making a commercial about beer, not clothes. Right? Right!”

Boom! Miller Lite sells like 80 gatrillion beers every second. I would do an epic comparison to some other Brazilian brewery ad campaigns, but the only brewery I can seem to find anything on is Devass Ben Loura because of some silly commercial they did with Paris Hilton. The only other source for hard info on the Brazilian brew scene is Wikipedia Brazil, which I’m convinced is hell bent on exploding my computer from the inside after I amended the Wikipedia Brazil page for Brazil’s beloved Cachaca to include the phrase, “Drinking more than two glasses of Brazilian Cachaca a day has been shown to lead to weepy mouth-breathing and inflammation to the cankle (calf/ankle) region.” Apparently this is not cool to do.

What’s worse is that like many children that grew up in the late ’80s and early ’90s, I live in fear that the ‘Pride of Brazil‘ Blanka will hunt me down in an act of old-school, cold-blooded street justice just like in the Godfather, but set in Brazil, in the early ’90s, and with mutant-lizard electricity warriors that wreck peoples’ worlds. Yup, just like that…

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