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“How Much Alcohol Would It Take To Kill You?”

Beverage News

Booze Death Calculator

Really? REALLY? This has to be the most idiotic, moronic, ridiculously stupid website ever…not counting Zombo.com…or Heimoff’s site.

The premise is this: you “Choose Your Drink”, enter your weight, choose your gender, and find out how many Apple Tinis it would take to end your life. Yup. That’s it.

I tried the “Booze Death Calculator” out for myself, and it turns out the list of beverages to choose from is quite extensive. My drink? St. Pauli Girl N.A. (non-alcoholic). My weight? 170 lbs. How many non-alcoholic beers would it take to kill me? Apparently 23. Wait, did this website just call me a bitch? This thing must be broken…I’m going to nurse my ego over a frosty cold bottle of O’Douls, of which I can apparently have 22,734 bottles of before I die. Let’s party!

You can do ANYTHING at Zombo.com!


  1. SD Lounger | Friday, November 13, 2009

    The accuracy is questionable at best. 17 shots of scotch sounds like regular night in Vegas for me, not a trip to the morgue.

  2. Jeff Dorenbush | Friday, November 13, 2009

    Yea apparently 7 shots of absinthe and I am done for. Doubtful seeing as I have had 7 shots of absinthe before and it was… AWESOME!

  3. Alan Kropf | Friday, November 13, 2009

    I had 22,734 bottles of non-alcoholic beer once, it was NOT awesome…

  4. Phil | Friday, November 13, 2009

    Back in the day when I was a young 19 year old E-2, a cooler of Corona, Modelo Especial, and a couple cuban cigars made me feel like death was near.

  5. Brian Kropf | Friday, November 13, 2009

    Phil! E-2 where and what branch? E-4 here .. cheers!

  6. Phil | Friday, November 13, 2009

    I was an E-2 in Miami Beach back in ’96. Spent most of my time floating around the Caribbean in the Coast Guard. I’m now and E-7 in California.

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