Mutineer Issue No. 13
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“How Much Alcohol Would It Take To Kill You?”

Alan Kropf / Fri, Nov 13

Booze Death Calculator

Really? REALLY? This has to be the most idiotic, moronic, ridiculously stupid website ever…not counting Zombo.com…or Heimoff’s site.

The premise is this: you “Choose Your Drink”, enter your weight, choose your gender, and find out how many Apple Tinis it would take to end your life. Yup. That’s it.

I tried the “Booze Death Calculator” out for myself, and it turns out the list of beverages to choose from is quite extensive. My drink? St. Pauli Girl N.A. (non-alcoholic). My weight? 170 lbs. How many non-alcoholic beers would it take to kill me? Apparently 23. Wait, did this website just call me a bitch? This thing must be broken…I’m going to nurse my ego over a frosty cold bottle of O’Douls, of which I can apparently have 22,734 bottles of before I die. Let’s party!

You can do ANYTHING at Zombo.com!

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Comments

  1. SD Lounger | Friday, November 13, 2009

    The accuracy is questionable at best. 17 shots of scotch sounds like regular night in Vegas for me, not a trip to the morgue.

  2. Jeff Dorenbush | Friday, November 13, 2009

    Yea apparently 7 shots of absinthe and I am done for. Doubtful seeing as I have had 7 shots of absinthe before and it was… AWESOME!

  3. Alan Kropf | Friday, November 13, 2009

    I had 22,734 bottles of non-alcoholic beer once, it was NOT awesome…

  4. Phil | Friday, November 13, 2009

    Back in the day when I was a young 19 year old E-2, a cooler of Corona, Modelo Especial, and a couple cuban cigars made me feel like death was near.

  5. Brian Kropf | Friday, November 13, 2009

    Phil! E-2 where and what branch? E-4 here .. cheers!

  6. Phil | Friday, November 13, 2009

    Brian,
    I was an E-2 in Miami Beach back in ’96. Spent most of my time floating around the Caribbean in the Coast Guard. I’m now and E-7 in California.

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