Mutineer Issue No. 13
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The Great Milk Riot of 2009: Belgian Riot Police and Helicopters vs. Cow Soldiers With Weaponized Udders

Alan Kropf / Mon, Oct 5

Milk Protest in Brussels

This was like “Watchmen” meets “V for Vendetta”. While stray cats rejoiced, riot police were no match for the onslaught of fresh milk which local farmers have apparently weaponized to fulfill their political agenda.

According to the New York Times, European Farmers Protest Fall in Milk Prices:

After months of complaints by European dairy farmers angry over low prices, protesters in Brussels on Monday poured milk onto the streets, hurled eggs and other missiles, and started fires that filled the air with black smoke.

Police helicopters hovered overhead as hundreds of tractors — and some cattle — blockaded the area outside the European Union’s headquarters while agriculture ministers met in an emergency meeting.

Okay, seriously… hurling eggs “and other missiles”? Fires? Helicopters? And people laugh at me because I take fine beverage too seriously? These people mean business. Milk is like the sun of fine beverage. Without it, you don’t have cappuccinos, milkshakes, or chocolate milk.

I’m never eating steak again, for today the mighty cow took a stand on behalf of fine beverage. Okay, I’m eating steak right now, wearing leather pants and getting ready to plant a bull horn stuffed with pages from Steve Heimoff’s last book, but I definitely have new admiration for cows everywhere.

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Comments

  1. phil | Monday, October 5, 2009

    Wow, who knew a cow had that much PSI?

    Great write up. Best thing I read all day.

  2. Brian K | Monday, October 5, 2009

    haha agreed!

  3. JJ Bagley | Monday, October 5, 2009

    Though I don’t drink the white stuff I have to applaud the aim from the utter. I raise a glass of Flanders Brown Ale and salute those who stand up for their industry.

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