The Great Milk Riot of 2009: Belgian Riot Police and Helicopters vs. Cow Soldiers With Weaponized Udders
This was like “Watchmen” meets “V for Vendetta”. While stray cats rejoiced, riot police were no match for the onslaught of fresh milk which local farmers have apparently weaponized to fulfill their political agenda.
According to the New York Times, European Farmers Protest Fall in Milk Prices:
After months of complaints by European dairy farmers angry over low prices, protesters in Brussels on Monday poured milk onto the streets, hurled eggs and other missiles, and started fires that filled the air with black smoke.
Police helicopters hovered overhead as hundreds of tractors — and some cattle — blockaded the area outside the European Union’s headquarters while agriculture ministers met in an emergency meeting.
Okay, seriously… hurling eggs “and other missiles”? Fires? Helicopters? And people laugh at me because I take fine beverage too seriously? These people mean business. Milk is like the sun of fine beverage. Without it, you don’t have cappuccinos, milkshakes, or chocolate milk.
I’m never eating steak again, for today the mighty cow took a stand on behalf of fine beverage. Okay, I’m eating steak right now, wearing leather pants and getting ready to plant a bull horn stuffed with pages from Steve Heimoff’s last book, but I definitely have new admiration for cows everywhere.