Yup, this Halloween weekend at Mutineer HQ will be a Blood-fueled fine beverage extravaganza. The fine people that brought you Mana Energy Potions have kicked things up a notch with Blood Energy Potion.

Packaged for practicality in an IV bag containing microwave directions to warm to 98.6 *F, selling points include:

“Similar nutrients to real blood, Fangtastic fruit punch flavor, up to 4 hours of pure energy, delicious for vampires or humans, succulent source of electrolytes, delectable source of iron, protein & energy, garlic free”

Add a little vodka and get your vampire on! Just don’t drink and drive, or zombies will eat your brains. Seriously, they will. I promise.

The universal theory of free soda refills is one of those things that has been discussed in great depth at the theoretical level, but apparently theory has become reality at a Seattle-area McDonald’s I visited yesterday that is taking steps to lock down on serial refill thieves. Yup, it says right on the fountain that free refills are only offered on a single visit. Continue Reading »

I wouldn’t last a day without a coffee, and I imagine quite a few of you would agree (maybe not publicly) with my sentiment. It was, then, with great joy that I read in a Ma’an News Agency article that the Israeli Army would begin allowing coffee and tea to be imported into the Gaza Strip, a Palestinian territory that has been blockaded by Israel since June 2007. Continue Reading »

I’ve found myself in many an argument over whether or not soda or water qualify as fine beverages (I say yes), but the argument is taken to a whole new level when you consider that UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Lyoto Machida slurps down for breakfast…HIS OWN URINE.

According to Machida in Brazilian fight magazine TATAME:

“My father does that for a long time and bring it to us. People think it’s a joke (laughs). I never said it in the United States because I don’t know how the fans will react (laughs). I drink my urine every morning like a natural medicine.”

Yes! At 15-0-0 and still UFC Light Heavyweight Champion of the world, Machida clearly knows what he is doing. As your attorney I suggest you try this at home and see what comes of it. I predict gag reflex and funky breath…though becoming one of the top fighters in the world has also been reported…

I must be writing this from beyond the grave, because only heaven would have something as cool as this. Ever whined about not getting a full beer (the Shaker pint glass cheats you out of 2 oz.)? Ever felt like you had to gulp your pint because you weren’t sure when the bartender would come back? The TableTender ends all your beer drinking woes.

TableTap, LLC, a company based in Atlanta, Ga. has come up with a phenomenal new idea that puts the power of the pour into the consumer’s hands. With TableTender, you are seated at a table that actually has taps mounted on it. You pull the number of pints you want, and when it’s time to shut it down, you ask for the ticket. You are billed for each ounce that was poured. You drink at your own pace, only pull what you want (half-beers are legit), and never have to wait for a beer. Continue Reading »

If you have been reading the Mutineer Blog for awhile, you know how much I hate drunk driving. It’s the most idiotic, selfish, dangerous, preventable thing a person can do. That said, when I saw in the news that a man had plead guilty to DWI after crashing his motorized lazy boy chair into a parked car, I had to let out a little chuckle.

According to Yahoo! News:

Prosecutors say Anderson’s blood alcohol content was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit, when he crashed into a parked vehicle in August 2008. He was not seriously injured.

Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.

A motorized lazy boy with a stereo and cup holders? It’s clear that this guy’s motivation was simply to impress the ladies. And the moral of the story is that had he just called a cab, he probably would’ve been successful.

Seven-time Tour-de-France winner, Lance Armstrong likes his beer watered down. That’s why he’s teamed up with Michelob ULTRA. The beer has been selling itself as booze for athletes for years and now they’ve got a real-life athlete to ballyhoo for them.

Armstrong is slated to star in one TV commercial for the brew and to make a cameo in another. Both ads will pop up in 2010, presumably between sports broadcasts. In addition, images of Armstrong will be used in print, outdoor-advertising, digital media and product packaging — and I, for one, can’t wait to see the new Lance Armstrong label.

Over the years, Armstrong has acted as spokesman for other businesses, including a long relationship with Nike. He’s also the founder of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which benefits those affected by cancer. But this will be the first time Lance has gotten on board with an alcoholic drink.

So Mutineer Director of Operations Jeff Dorenbush sent me a frenzy of e-mails today regarding the secret recipe. Like a confused child that just found out that babies weren’t delivered by storks riding unicorns, Mr. Dorenbush’s world was rocked by having to consider that Coca-Cola is indeed sourced and not a creation of divine intervention. I’ve compiled some of the research in his e-mails to hopefully shed some light on the situation.

Article of Evidence #1: New York Times
An article in the New York Times from May 3, 1993 titled “Dispute Over Coca-Cola’s Secret Formula” takes on the Coca-Cola recipe folklore head-on: Continue Reading »