Mutineer Issue No. 13
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Almost Breaking News: Beer Truck Flips in Chicago

Alan Kropf / Tue, Jun 16

Miller Lite Semi Truck Crash

This morning a truck full of Miller Beer pulled an epic fail on the Tri-State Tollway outside of Chicago. This would be a tragedy if someone got hurt, but no one did, so it’s just plain f*cking hilarious. Not much else to say here, I assumed Shia Labeouf was driving, but he wasn’t, so we’re left with: truck full of beer is driving. Truck full of beer drives through the guardrail. Truck full of beer does barrel-rolls ala Talladega Nights and now beer is all over the place. Booya.

I must admit that I’m a little bummed out, when I caught wind of this story over the wire I thought I had my hands on some breaking news, but alas it happened early this morning. I then tried to use the time zone difference to somehow justify that the news was indeed breaking in my world, finally being able to use time travel in my reporting, but I thought better of the idea when a future version of myself came back through time at the last possible second and told me I was about to Heimoff myself in the face. It seems my last chance at some breaking news today is to fill the Mutineer Volkswagen Passat to the gills with sample bottles and roll it down a hill. I could even post the “breaking news blog” before it happens and introduce the world to time travel journalism after all…Nope, no future self has appeared, game on…

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Comments

  1. Chuck P. | Tuesday, June 16, 2009

    Thank god it was only Miller. That could have been a terrible accident had it been Samuel Adams.

  2. Cruz | Tuesday, June 16, 2009

    @Chuck – Hey hey hey… nothing wrong with Miller beer. Any loss of beer is a bad thing in my mind.

  3. Alan Kropf | Tuesday, June 16, 2009

    Hey guys, I hope you know Miller is listening…They’ll probably come for you in your sleep tonight…

  4. Conspirama | Tuesday, June 16, 2009

    Almost Breaking News: Beer Truck Flips in Chicago | Mutineer Magazine…

    Mutineer Magazine is a fine beverage publication unlike any other you’ve ever read. Founded by Sommelier Alan Kropf and beer expert JJ Bagley, Mutineer Magazine covers all things fine beverage with an emphasis on wine, beer and spirits….

  5. Almost Breaking News: Beer Truck Flips in Chicago | Mutineer Magazine | Transportation Industry Info and Employment | Wednesday, June 17, 2009

    [...] stark f*cking hilarious. Not such added to feature here, … Here is the example post:  Almost Breaking News: Beer Truck Flips in metropolis | Mutineer Magazine No Comments| Posted by : admin Read [...]

  6. Jeff | Wednesday, June 17, 2009

    I heard that the Miller staff is out collecting all the broken glass bottle pieces and stuffing them under Chuck’s bed sheets tonight. Be careful.

  7. Pabst Blue Ribbon For Sale | Mutineer Magazine | Friday, November 13, 2009

    [...] with “The Who” to experience myself, which is the closest I think I’ll ever get in my quest to travel through time. What? Time travel is impossible and “The Who” without Keith Moon sucked during the [...]

  8. Fine Beverage + Hot Tub + Squirrel = Time Travel…I Knew It Could Be Done! | Mutineer Magazine | Friday, January 29, 2010

    [...] doesn’t lie people, and the equation on this poster says it all: time travel IS possible, you apparently just need to make a cocktail with an energy drink, Crystal Pepsi in a label-less [...]

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