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Colbert vs. The Soda Tax

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The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Patriotic journalist Stephen Colbert has entered the conversation on the proposed tax on soda to help pay for the obesity and health conditions that soda contributes to.

From the Wall Street Journal online:

Senate leaders are considering new federal taxes on soda and other sugary drinks to help pay for an overhaul of the nation’s health-care system.

The taxes would pay for only a fraction of the cost to expand health-insurance coverage to all Americans and would face strong opposition from the beverage industry. They also could spark a backlash from consumers who would have to pay several cents more for a soft drink.

On Tuesday, the Senate Finance Committee is set to hear proposals from about a dozen experts about how to pay for the comprehensive health-care overhaul that President Barack Obama wants to enact this year. Early estimates put the cost of the plan at around $1.2 trillion. The administration has so far only earmarked funds for about half of that amount.

In a showing of fine beverage candor, Colbert slammed several cans of Sierra Mist during his report. Here are a few highlights, or watch the video for yourself.

Now folks, if you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to slam as much soda as possible before Johnny Law tries to infringe on my unquenchable right to life, liberty, and high fructose corn syrup. I do not obey big government, I obey my thirst.

Hey Democrats, you can have my soda when you pry it from my cold, diabetic hands.

Let me break down the math for you Nation. Let’s say I go to a movie theater and I spend $3.50 for a twenty ounce Coke, because I got the super saver. Now, if this tax goes through, I’ll have to pay five cents on top of that. Now, the syrup in that soda water costs two cents, so instead of paying the present 175x what the drink is actually worth, now I’m supposed to pay an outrageous 177.5x what it’s actually worth? For what? Some poor woman’s prenatal checkups?

People who drink too much soda aren’t fat, they’re extreme!

Look folks, the fact is, soft drinks don’t cause obesity, and it’s not just me saying that, it’s also soft drink lobbyists.

Nation, we must protest this soda tax!


  1. beerme | Thursday, May 28, 2009

    hahaha, I saw this a few days ago and loved it. YES!

  2. Julie | Sunday, May 31, 2009

    Next they will be taxing the baby formula!

  3. Cruz | Monday, June 1, 2009

    LOL… very funny

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