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The Happening: Sexy Chocolate Sumner


No, this is not Prince’s new album title, but rather an amalgamation of three killer events you should know about.

Pike Chocofest – Seattle, WA

Looking very cool is Pike Chocofest at The Pike Brewing Co. in Seattle, which bills itself as a “romantic evening of chocolate paired with wine, mead, spirits, and beer” and “foreplay for [Valentine’s Day]”. Some of the chocolatiers involved include Fran Bigelow, Theo Chocolate, Carter’s Chocolates, Trevani Truffles, Claudio Corallo Chocolate, and BruCo Chocolate. For more information you should send an inappropriately seductive e-mail under the fake name “Naughty Nellie” to the fine people at Pike Brewing Co. Tickets are $25 per person.

Sweetheart Wine Walk – Sumner, WA

This Saturday, or to some of you happy couples out there “Valentine’s Day”, the Wine Mutineer will be cruising for chicks at the Sweetheart Wine Walk in the small town of Sumner, Washington. Sumner is best known for producing college-bound offensive linemen, being the hometown of renowned Northwest band The Cloves, and being located in the catastrophic path of the projected lava flow for when the mighty Mt. Rainier finally blows its top. It should also be noted that Sumner boasts its fair share of beautiful small-town womenfolk, creating endless possibilities for Saturday’s event.

Organized by the Sumner Downtown Association, the event will run from 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM and involve over 20 local merchants. I have no idea what wine will be served, but the surprise is adding to the anticipation and I’m looking forward to an evening of good wine and bad pick up lines. $15 for six tasting tickets. Each additional ticket is $1.

Naughty Wine V-Day Bash – New York, NY

The “Sexy Sommeliers” of Perfect Palate New York are most certainly the real deal. I’ve spent some time with these magnificent women and can assure you that they are most definitely sexy, and have yet to give me a reason to doubt their wine credibility, though I must admit I’m not exactly looking for one. The event will be at Babeland Soho, and while I’m no stranger to browsing a sex store while intoxicated, doing it in an event format seems a little out there even for me. All of the courtship rules would change. I mean, you’re in a store full of sex toys the day after Valentine’s Day, and any single girl who just suffered through V-day does not have dinner and a goodbye kiss on her mind. To use the age old baseball analogy to track a relationship’s progression, this event is like a home-run derby, and if your goal is getting to first base, you need not attend. Tickets are $40 per person.


  1. Jeff | Friday, February 13, 2009

    How do I get the Sexy Somms to my party?

  2. Brian | Friday, February 13, 2009

    How do I get them to my house … without a party? Yes, ALL of them.

    Maybe if I invited them to my pants party?

    .. “Are you trying to say that there’s a party in your pants and I’m invited?”

    “That’s it!”

    Name that movie!

  3. Alan Kropf | Friday, February 13, 2009

    I’m going with “Schindler’s List”?

  4. Rob | Friday, February 13, 2009

    @Alan Kropf HAHAHAHAHaHaha!

    @Brian Anchorman

  5. Sumner Sweetheart Wine Walk | Mutineer Magazine | Monday, February 23, 2009

    […] contrary to my prediction that I’d be “cruising for chick” in Sumner in my post previewing this event, I actually brought a date to experience this afternoon of wine in the small […]

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