Dairy Queen: The Game

I was on Apple’s website last night doing some article research when I came across Dairy Queen: The Game. Dairy Queen is no slouch in the fine beverage department with such creations as the Mr. Misty and the legendary Blizzard.

I downloaded the demo version and began my own DQ quest. The DQ logo flashes across the screen and I can tell things are about to get awesome. I’m going to name my character after my favorite fine beverage magazine.

The game opens up with a story explaining the events that lead up to my becoming part of the Dairy Queen family. Apparently it is really hot outside, and a boy character and a girl character are enjoying some tasty frozen DQ treats. Best I can tell, the boy character wants the DQ hookup, so he tells the girl character to get a job at Dairy Queen. Boy Character: “Hey look! Maybe you should work here, Emily. Then I can stay cool mooching treats off you all summer long.” The girl character must really be into this guy to be willing to get a job just to hook him up with ice cream. Whatever, it’ll be easy money with no responsibility.

Whoa! Dairy Queen trivia in between load screens! Bravo.

What?!?! Manager?!?! Dammit! This always happens. Emily just wanted to hook her friend up with some Dilly Bars, and now she is the manager…

“This little Dairy Queen Treat Store on the edge of town hasn’t been profitable in years, but maybe you can turn things around.” So I’m the new manager of a small, unprofitable location on the edge of town? This is awesome.

It is clear upon arrival at my shop why profits are down. All I have available to sell are dilly bars and soft serve ice cream. This isn’t even a Dairy Queen.

I make $13 my first day, which seems pretty pathetic, but my goal was $12, so I’m beginning to think my character is just plain stupid.

Four days later, my character must be sleeping with the district manager or something because I have a bunch of cool treat machines in my shop now. I’ve only made like $300 all week. Something isn’t right here. I did figure out that as the game gets more challenging with blizzards taking a while to make, I can pre-make one of everything and just let it sit until someone orders it. I am unstoppable…