Welcome To Thunderdome: Beer vs. Milk

Welcome to another addition of Thunderdome! (Cheers and creepy music)

Listen all! This is the truth of it. Milking leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we’ve learned, by the dust of them all. Now, when beverages get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two beverages enter; one beverage leaves.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… Drinkin’ time’s here.

I am not a huge supporter of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and I have no reason to hide it – I like to enjoy a good steak or cheeseburger from time to time. But, with that said, I think I can get behind PETA and their, “GOT…BEER?!” campaign. The premise of the campaign is this: Attack the hell out of milk. Destroy the dairy industry, leading mothers to feed their newborn children beer in place of milk. Get the entire country drunk out of their minds. Convince us all to stop eating meat. Begin collecting what would have been slaughtered animals. Build an animal army out of them. Train them to kill any retaliation to the PETA organization. Take over the world.

Milk
In One Corner: Milk
In the infant stages of this campaign, prior to the world domination, PETA presents some very valid points that even makes me question whether or not I should finish that Nesquik Chocolate Milk in my fridge. PETA’s Milksucks.com states that there is, “scientific evidence in the news linking dairy products to everything from diabetes to cancer, including osteoporosis.” Inside of Eat, Drink, and Be Healthy: The Harvard Medical School Guide to Healthy Eating you’ll find an entire chapter that unmasks the truth behind milk, and the fact that it isn’t even a necessity in your diet, nor is it even helpful. The book also mentions that the United States tops the charts in milk-consumption and bone-fractures. And to top it off, some warn that milk is not only filled with fat and cholesterol, but can frequently be found contaminated with pesticides, dioxins and drugs.

Do you love cows – you think they are cute and adorable animals? Well, then you’ll hate this. More than one-tenth of cows are dead before the age of two due to illnesses and injuries inflicted on the farm. Dairy cows have their calves taken away from them shortly after birth leading to acute distress to both the mother and the calf. All in an attempt to start producing milk as soon as possible so they can sell it in stores, so I can enjoy my chocolate milk – I feel terrible.

Beer
In The Other Corner: Beer
Why beer you might ask. Eat, Drink, and Be Healthy not only shoots holes in the diary industry like John Rambo shoots holes in the Burmese military, they also explain to readers why beer is beneficial to drink. Beer, “protects against heart disease and ischemic strokes, and mounting evidence [shows] that it protects against diabetes and gallstones.”

Now if that isn’t enough to turn you off at the idea of drinking milk then suck on this, “Milk contains unsafe levels of blood and pus.” – PETA’s “got pus?” advertisement.

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Comments

Comments | Trackback

Brian | Friday, January 23, 2009
hahahah whoa sweet blog. where’d you find all this? lol

Katie | Friday, January 23, 2009
These people drive me nuts. First of all, I think the increase in the consumption of processed snack foods, sodas and fast food is what we should worry about with fat and cholesterol, not our kids having a glass of milk. I’m sorry, but the last obese person I saw wasn’t holding a gallon jug of milk under their arm, they had their face shoved in a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Second, not every dairy farm mistreats their cows. If your only problem is the humane treatment of animals, do your damned research and buy locally from someone who gives a crap about their livestock. OK, thanks, I gotta go get a beer now. :-P

Jeff | Friday, January 23, 2009
@Katie

Just because fast food and similar products are bad for you, doesn’t mean we should cease the attempt to direct people in a different direction from foods that are not as bad for you, but still display signs of being unhealthy.

And the treatment of the cows is not my concern, just another point in the argument.

Alan Kropf | Friday, January 23, 2009
I think the concerning thing isn’t that there are more unhealthy options than milk out there, but rather that milk is made out to be this miracle health food when it may not be so. It is like praising Big Macs as being nutritional…

Brian | Saturday, January 24, 2009
Don’t forget that beer has less calories, no cholesterol, no fat, and more protein than the same quantity of milk!

What am I having for breakfast tomorrow morning? Life cereal with beer, possibly a good belgian strong dark ale, instead of milk!

Stacy Briscoe | Friday, January 30, 2009
Yes, the dairy industry is insidious in getting you to drink milk! It’s not necessarily it’s nutritional profile that makes it potentially problematic (because now it’s fortified with Vitamin D, which most people living in North America are deficient in (except for you Southern Cali people who get enough sun) and has lots of Calcium)…. It’st that most people lose the ability to digest it due to the natural decrease in the body’s production of lactase, the enzyme necessary to digest milk. We aren’t biologically set up to drink milk past childhood, it’s that simple.

Beer however, as far as I know, requires no specific enzymes, thank god. I think I would go with a nice hefeweizen for my Cheerios…