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The HoseMaster of Wine = The George Carlin of Wine


The HoseMaster of Wine Blog is certifiably insane, in a good way. We wrote about the Hosemaster back in September, and after following the blog since then, I’ve been compelled to write a follow up.

The HoseMaster’s approach to wine can be described as “George Carlin-esque”, as it is as insightful and well-written as it is crude, irreverent, hilarious, witty, and pornographic. How is pornographic a writing descriptor? It isn’t, the HoseMaster literally posts pictures of beautiful naked women all over his blog. Yes, this guy means business. I sent in my resume to become the staff photographer, but have yet to get hired on. The thing that sets the HoseMaster apart is the writing. Here are some snippets to illustrate:

“I know more about wine than David Sedaris and I’m funnier than James Laube”

“At last count I believe there were about ten thousand wine blogs accounting for well over forty posts a week”

“I am grateful for yeast. Yeast turns sugar into alcohol, a trick only Jesus could manage”

“The newly released Montemaggiore 2005 Syrah Paolo’s Vineyard Dry Creek Valley had me drooling like a GM executive at a government bailout meeting”

The thing about the HoseMaster blog is that hidden within all of that chocolate is a caramel center of intriguing and relevant wine ideas. There is some truly exceptional writing on this blog, and I highly suggest checking it out.


  1. Ron Washam, HMW | Tuesday, November 25, 2008


    Cool graphic! Where do I get one?

    By the way, having six years of Hustler with the pages stuck together isn’t really resume material.

    Thank you for the plug and the kind words. Even wine royalty needs a court jester, and I look good in tights.

    And how come no one left a comment on this but me? I was hoping for some scorn.

  2. JJ Bagley | Thursday, November 27, 2008

    I’m adding this to my daily blog reading. Just from the quotes it seems like something not to miss.

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