Meet the Frutista Freeze, Taco Bell’s new creation to quench that summertime thirst. Taco Bell is really pushing this new product. They even have a flash site—complete with tropical sounds and flying airplanes—promoting Frutista-inspired contests for Frutista-fanatics to win fantastic vacations.
There is only one problem…is Frutista even all that fruity? You’d think so, because the name has the word “fruit” in it. Also, the advertisement exclaims, “Topped with real strawberries!” I know what you’re thinking, “Wow, that’s one fruity beverage,” but wait, there’s more. At the bottom it says, “Made with natural fruit flavors.” Yes, I love natural. I love fruit. And I sure as shit love flavors.
Then they drop the bomb. Next to “Made with natural fruit flavors,” it says, “Product contains no fruit juice.” WTF? Where in tarnation are they getting all those “natural fruit flavors?” And furthermore, are they topping this libation with dehydrated strawberries, because if not, those strawberries contain liquid, and what do you call the liquid that emits from a strawberry? Juice! Fruit Juice…
So I’m convinced, this is Taco Bell, or the government (or both) just f*cking with us. I mean seriously, where is all that fruitiness coming from? I’ll tell you what. I’ll open up an Internet-cafe in Amish country before I wrap my head around the “The Frutista Situation.”