Jesus + Hatchets = No More Alcohol

Thirteen years. That was how long Prohibition lasted in the United States as a result of the Eighteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. I am thoroughly convinced that this generation could not handle it. It was a brutal war. For example, a woman named Carrie Nation would go into saloons and start breaking bottles with a hatchet. She described herself as “a bulldog running along at the feet of Jesus, barking at what he doesn’t like.” This, in my opinion, is terrifying. She would greet bartenders by saying “Good morning, destroyer of men’s souls”, and she would play church hymns in saloons on a hand organ, while smashing up the bar with a HATCHET! Being a businesswoman, she obviously had souvenir mini-hatchets available for sale as well as photographs. She was arrested 30 times for having psychedelic hatchet freak-outs in bars between the years 1900 and 1910. When not being a maniac, Carrie published a newsletter called “The Smasher’s Mail” and a newspaper called “The Hatchet”. Call me crazy, but this lady sounds a lot more dangerous than any drunk I’ve seen. My theory is that she wanted to destroy alcohol so she could pave the way for her own vice, Meth.

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